The Lost Art of Listening

Listening.  I'm not talking about hearing, I'm talking about listening.  The sounds, the cadence, the tone.  Someone is talking and I'm listening.  No, I'm not politely waiting my turn to talk, or respond, or disagree; I'm actually simply listening.

Why do we attempt to listen, and how do we benefit by learning to listen well?  I propose that we listen so that we can better understand and feel what is being heard whether from a person, bird, dog, or the wind.  But first, I have to learn to listen, not just hear.  There is plenty of time to digest and turn what I hear and feel into a cognitive result - First listen, then understand, if I even need to understand.

Trust yourself on this process and try it out.  Listen, and then let the understanding come to you.  I propose that if I first listen then I will better understand what the other person is trying to communicate.  If I am listening, it does not mean I agree, it is just giving my best shot at understanding what is being communicated by another.  Isn't that why we listen?  I listen so that the other person or entity that is talking, crying, or laughing is understood to the best of my ability.  Do I need to take what is being spoken and immediately transpose it into thoughts?  Do I need to think first and listen, or listen first and then allow myself time to understand?  Can I trust this process?  What if I simply listen, no thinking, just listening.  Try it, just listen and don't even bother to translate what you hear into thoughts.  What happens then? 

Isn't that what can happen when I listen to the wind or to the owl hoot?  Do I even need to think that the wind is blowing, to listen to the wind.  Close your eyes and just listen.  It might take some practice, but it won't hurt to try.  Sometimes I close my eyes and just listen to the sounds around me, the wind, the rain, the animals, all the sounds.  It's feels amazing to simply listen.

Then there is the responsibility of the person talking.  Are you allowing the person to listen, do you really care whether they are listening?  Are you giving the listener a chance to process fully, or provide feedback, or even a chance to also speak?  Do you even care?  If not, then maybe a tape recorder or writing down what you have to say might be more appropriate or maybe even considerate.

And now I read that I can also hear with my skin.  Does that mean if I shave that I will be diminishing my listening skills?  And if I talk to myself can I really listen at the same time?