White lies and living truthfully

It is not always easy to be in truth, you have to stay alert to the opportunity.

There are all kinds of lies and lying.  For example, there are the little white lies such as:

Such as when someone asks you how you are doing or feeling and you respond that you are feeling great or doing well, when in that moment, you are actually very upset or are feeling blue about something.  You justify your response either as you don't want to talk about it, or the person asking you does not really want to know how you are feeling, or was simply saying hello rather than wanting to really know how you are feeling.  Have you lied?  Yes, you have lied.  No one apparently is hurt by the lie, but you have just lied.

Such as when someone asks you if you agree or believe a situation, and your response is that you are ok with it, when in reality you are simply tired of the discussion or don't think the person that you are talking with is really open about the discussed matter.  In any case, you have lied because in reality you would never really agree, but you lie anyway just to finish up, or move on from the conversation.

Such as when someone asks you if you have done something and you say "yes", but in reality, you have not done this and yet you can justify your response, your lie, because you intend to take care of it in the future and don't care to be hassled about it any more.  In any case, you have lied.  The truthful answer would have been "no, and I will get to it in my own time and fashion", or something to that effect.

Such as when you visit your doctor and they ask you to answer 100 questions about your health or mental state, or your family medical history.  Do you wake up and have to go to the bathroom at night?  Is there a history of such and such a condition in your family?  How many drinks do you have during a week?  Are you feeling sad about anything?  Questions like that.  You answer in such a way that will get you thru the situation without having to discuss the matter any further.  It is a lie.  No one appears to be hurt, yet a lie has occurred.

Such as "Did you stop anywhere before you got here?"  There could be various reasons to not tell the truth to this seemingly straight forward question.  Perhaps you were buying a present for the person asking the question and you don't want them to know or suspect, because you want it to be a surprise later on.  Or you visited someone that you don't want the person asking the question to know about.  Or you were late because you did stop someplace.  Could be a totally innocent event, yet the response of "no" is a lie.  Now you begin to see that there is potential harm a foot. The lie becomes a little less white.  The potential for harm grows greater.  And of course you need to then remember your lie so that it fits reality later on.

Then there are other lies - not quite so white in nature, such as:

Such as "You haven't told anyone about this, have you?".  Or "promise me that you won't tell anyone about this", You agree to this confidence, but you are already thinking about who you can tell.  You promised not to tell anyone, but you already plan to make a small exception or two.  I will only tell my mate, or my best friend, after all, we promised to share everything with each other. But you have just lied to the person who asked for your total confidence, or soon will.  No real harm, right?  Or is there?

Such as when someone asks you a question - "Do you know this to be the truth?" and you respond, yes.  But in truth you only heard it from someone else and don't really know for yourself that it is true.  People don't lie about things do they?  So it must be true what they said to me, so therefore it is true coming from me.  But that is not how you answered, you left out a pertinent qualifier, so you have lied to someone, and perhaps that will affect someone's life.  Thou shall not bear false witness.  It's even a commandment for God's sake.

Such as the question "Have you had intimate relations with a particular person?".   You answer, no.  You justify your response by reasoning that it is none of their business, or you don't want to hurt someone, or you are uncomfortable discussing the matter, or you reason that is was just once and you won't do it again, or what is being intimate anyway, or I was drunk, or fill in the blank.  All lies, despite the reasons for not telling the truth, ethical or not.

Such as when someone asks you something about someone else and you do not tell the truth because to do so might cause harm to someone.  You do not tell the truth because you deem it ethically better to
lie rather than tell the truth as you know it.  Still you have lied, perhaps to protect another, but it is a lie none the less.  You could have told them you do not want to discuss this subject, but that would have then caused further suspicion, so you choose to lie instead.

Then there are the out and out lies:

Have you done such and such? - no
Do you love me? - no or yes
Did you take something - No
Have you ever lied to me - No
Are you telling me the truth? - Yes
Are you guilty of such and such. - No


There are immediate consequences to such questions and you don't want to experience them.  So you lie, comfort zone preserved.  Or is it?


Life, or the quality of life, is at least a combination of the moments.  What is the meaning of living in the truth and being free?  I would surmise that when you lie, it runs contrary to that goal - an opportunity of living freely in the moment.  So, what is the worst kind of lie?

I would propose it is lying to oneself.  Unto thine own self be true.  Good start to being free. Plus it is such a pain to have to remember all the lies. It almost seems unfortunate that we have a choice to tell the truth or lie.

Perhaps it just takes practice to stay in the truth rather than lie to others or to ourselves.  The benefits would appear to be rich in nature.